For many years, sex researchers believed that sexual desire is necessary for a woman to have sex. However, studies of the last five years have challenged this very common belief.
In a relevant study, only 15.5% of women said that they only have sex when they feel sexual desire. The majority said that usually they engage in sexual activity without first feeling sexual desire, but it is more likely that they first engage in sexual activity, and sexual desire is experineced after they start receiving stimulation and start feeling arousal. This type of sexual desire is coined responsive desire..
But if spontaneous sexual desire is not the trigger for sex, then what is the motivation? According to data from 1,000 women, 237 reasons of why a woman decides to have sex have been reported! Therefore, there is a huge variety in motivation of women for sex. The most common were:
- For the physical pleasure. Contrary to the myth that wants women to have sex primarily for emotional reasons, the most common motivation of women is the expectation that they will feel physical pleasure.
- For emotional reasons. Women want to feel desired and treasured.
- To conquer. Not only men compete with other men to attract a womane. So do women.
- To manage jealousy feelings.
- Because they ‘have to’. Some women have sex because they feel they have to please the man. Indeed, it is more common in long-term relationships.
- Out of curiosity. Sometimes curiosity about how sex with a person will be is an incentive.
- For practical benefits. Motivation is about material or non sexual benefits that will follow sexual activity.
- In order to increase confidence.
- Because of coercion. Even today, some women have sex because they are forced!
- For health reasons! Some women have sex to relieve headaches and pains.
From these data it appears that women have sex for many reasons, and indeed some of them are sexual! Once again the complexity of female sexuality is highlighted, but, this may actually be its beauty!
Carvalheira A, Brotto LA, Maroco J (2011) Portuguese version of Cues for Sexual Desire Scale: the influence of relationship duration. J Sex Med 8: 123-131.
McCall K, Meston C (2006) Cues resulting in desire for sexual activity in women. J Sex Med 3: 838-852.
