What are the consequences of infidelity in marriage?
Infidelity in stable relationships are not uncommon-about 25% of people said they have cheated at lleast once in their life.
The extramarital relationships are a major shock for a wedding, causing a wide range of negative emotions such as anger, loss of confidence, low self esteem and depression.
Infidelity does not only affect the couple’s relationship, and the relationship with their children, but also the wider family and friends. Infidelity is a strong predictive factor of divorce, but whether it will lead to separation depends on whether the affair will end or not.
How can the wounds of infidelity heal?
Because the management of infidelity is extremely difficult, many choose to seek psychotherapeutic help.
According to the couples’ views about psychotherapy, the steps of the healing process of infidelity trauma are:
- Awareness of emotions – the couple learned to clearly identify their feelings, which is difficult because they were many and mixed.
- Expression of emotions – the couples learned beneficial ways to express their thoughts and feelings.
- Understanding the other – everyone learned to understand his / her partner as if seen through the eyes of another.
- More gentle feelings – couples felt that through special exercises, but also with the help of time, their feelings became softer.
- Reduction of blaming – gradually passed to a stage where, instead of blaming each other, focus on the personal responsibility of each for the relationship.
- Regaining confidence – couples were helped to find ways to restore confidence.
- Forgiveness!
Bird M, Butler M, Fife S (2007) The process of couple healing following infidelity: a qualitative study. Journal of couple and relationship therapy 6: 1-25.
