Is it true that sexual desire, erotic passion and deep love are mostly games of the mind?
Sexual desire, erotic passion and deep love are inherent in all arts, but now also of the sciences that study human behavior. The data to date indicate that different parts of the brain are activated and different hormones are secreted, when one feels the need to have sex, when in passionate love and when he/ she feels deep love. Sexual desire depends on testosterone and estrogens. They are sex hormones that motivate people to have sex and they increase the need for sexual pleasure.
The desire for sex is different from the erotic passion, because in the latter case the interest and attention of the person is focused on one particular person.
Those experiencing erotic passion are characterized by high levels of dopamine and low serotonin levels. Dopamine is a hormone associated with a sense of wellbeing, mobilization and stimulation. Perhaps this explains that those in love experience euphoria, high energy levels, take risks easily and focus their full attention to the person they crave for. The dopamine levels of love are similar to those caused by cocaine!
Further, serotonin is low, at levels similar to those suffering from OCD. A characteristic of this disorder, but also to those that are experiencing passionate love, is that the mind is overwhelmed by persistently recurring thoughts and images!
The passion of love is different from the feeling of deep love, because the latter is characterized by calmness, sense of security, emotional attachment and care. In deep love, oxytocin and vasopressin hormones are elevated. Orgasm and tender behaviors (like hugging) enhance the secretion of these hormones.
These hormones are high in long-term relationships with strong ties and seem to help the couple maintain their relationship long term in order to be able to raise together their offsprings.
The question is: Can sexual desire, erotic passion and love co-exist?
It seems that three different systems are activated a) the need for sex, b) the erotic passion and c) the loving relationship. These three systems can function separately and therefore it is possible to feel deep love for one person, but fall in love with another. Also, each system can stimulate the activation of the other. For example, sexual desire can encourage someone to engage in an occasional sexual encounter, from which, however, unexpectedly, feelings of love and affection may be triggered because of oxytocin and vasopressin, which are secreted with orgasm.
These studies help us to better understand human sexuality and behavior. However, we must not forget that the biological parameters are only one piece of the puzzle that also includes personality characteristics, personal experiences, the social environment, etc.
Fisher H, Aron A, Brown L (2006) Romantic Love: A Mammalian Brain System for Mate Choice. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society: Biological Sciences 361: 2173-2186.
