Almost all couples will some point feel that their sexual life has become monotonous or neglected or constantly postponed. Why is this happening?
- Most couples in longterm relationships hardly feel sexual drive, ie sponteneous sexual desire. However, the sex drive is not necessary for a saisfying sexual life. However, when the drive is not expreienced, one would need good motivation to engage in sexual activity.
When the motivation of each person is to feel love and to feel pleasure, then this is a good reason to engage in sexual activity. It is therefore not necessary to limit sexual encounters only to those that are driven by sexual urge.
- Most couples systematically follow the same sexual practices. But the repetition leads to familiarity with these sexual stimuli, which means less arousal. Therefore, variety is beneficial, although this does not refer to uncomfortable or unacceptable sexual practices.
For example, by changing the intensity and speed of the movement or engaging all senses by involving the whole of the body (without limitation to the breast and genitals) or by isolating some senses (e.g., closing of the eyes of the other, or caressing without hand involvement), are ways to create new experiences that increase arousal and libido.
- The sexual life is part of the total life. The general mood or fatigue significantly influence one’s sexual life, while a neglected relationship without shared beautiful moments, will probably be reflected in the couple’s sexual life.
Therefore, taking care of ourselves and our relationship (good sleep, some pleasant relaxing activities individually and jointly), we take care of our sex life.
- In the course of life, periods will come were sex will be the last “priority” (eg when a baby is born, there is a health problem or a crisis). In those moments, emotional closeness is usually more important than sex, in order to overcome this difficult period.
