Many people believe that after childbirth the couple comes closer, the relationship improves and sexual life quickly returns to the pre-pregnancy state.
A study was carried out in Great Britain, in couples who had their first child, and the results showed that eight months after the child’s arrival 50% said that their sexual life is “bad” or “not very good” and one in five wanted help for this.
Also, the percentage of people who assessed the quality of the relationship as “poor” or “not very good” increased from 1% before birth to 20% eight months later.
And it makes sense, given that the changes that occur in the couple’s life are many. Fatigue and insomnia, anxiety that the new parents will respond properly to the needs of the child and often the intrusive involvement of members of the broader family, are only some of the changes that the couple must manage the first few months after childbirth.
Difficulties in the relationship and sexual life of the couple, when the baby is still eight months, are expected. But how long do these difficulties last? Are they overcome when the first years pass?
A study done in the Netherlands wanted to investigate whether the changes that occur in the relationship and sexual life of the couple, shortly after the birth of the first child, persist four years later.
The study further showed that when the child was four years old, sexual desire and sexual satisfaction of the couple was as low as that reported six months after childbirth. The frequency of intercourse increased from less than once a month to 1-2 times a month. However, this slight improvement was seen only in couples who have not had a second child. Also, problems in the couple’s communication had increased after four years, and behaviors expressing intimacy, such as hugs and kisses, were reduced
It seems then, that the difficulties in the relationship and sexual life of the couple are likely to persist for a long time. But some parents are not prepared for these difficulties, so when they arise, they think that they only happen to them. This prevents them from talking to friends or experts, so thy stay trapped in feelings of dissatisfaction. However, if young couples seek help from experts, they can learn ways tto manage theses problems and enjoy their relationship and sexual life. The first step to initiate counseling is difficult, but the decision will give the opportunity of a new day with love and romance.
Barrett G, Pendry E, Peacock J et al. (2000) Women’s sexual health after childbirth. BJOG 107: 186-195.
Ahlborg T, Rudeblad K, Linner S et al. (2008) Sensual and sexual marital contentment in parents of small children -a follow-up study when the first child is four years old. J Sex Res 45: 295-304.
