It is now documented that as the relationship duration increases sexual desire and the frequency of sexual intercourse decrease. Usually, the peak of sexual desire is experienced at the beginning of the relationship when the passion of love is dominant, and decreases in the long course of the relationship.
Many studies have shown that men show more interest in sex than women. For example, they think about sex more often than women, have sexual fantasies sexual desire more oftena as well.
Also, their is a discrepency between the couple on the frequency of sex,it is men usually that desire more. It has now been established that sexual desire of men differs from that of women. Men focus more on physical satisfaction, while women on emotional aspects of the relationship.
However, while the reduction of sexual desire is almost inevitable, some couples maintain high levels of motivation and satisfaction with sex life, while others experience a significant decline.
Researchers at the University of California, in 2008, tried to find the factor that helps couples to maintain their desire to satisfactory levels. Their studies have concluded that the key is an attribute of the relationship. Specifically, they found that the key to maintaining sexual desire is tthat the couple aims to experience joy and good times and evolve together. Instead, couples focused on avoiding conflicts or unpleasant moments fail to maintain their desire in high levels.
In other words, directing behaviors or activities towards pleasure and positive experiences, not only keeps sexual desire high over time, but also increases satisfaction from sexual intercourse.
Conversely, when the couple ‘s objective is to avoid negative emotions and experiences, maintaining sexual desire high becomes difficult. However, although this characteristic of the relationship was important to maintain the desire in both genders, it had a greater the impact on women’s sexual desire.
It seems that:
– Focusing more on what the couple desires rather than fears, maintains sexual desire in satisfactory levels and fights against the adverse effects of time.
– The sexual desire of women is affected by the qualities of the relationship more than men’s. In other words, women need a loving relationship, where, especially regarding sexual life, one understands and respects the other, instead of expressing criticism and indifference.
Impett EA, Strachman A, Finkel EJ et al. (2008) Maintaining sexual desire in intimate relationships: the importance of approach goals. J Pers Soc Psychol 94: 808-823.
