When discussing erectile dysfunction, the focus is often on men, but women also grapple with this issue, often suffering in silence. Erectile dysfunction can strain not only the man and woman individually but also their relationship. In a study (Lording, 2000) conducted in Australia involving men with erectile dysfunction and their partners, it was found that 25% of men had not discussed the problem with their partners. Among those who did, 56% reported a positive reaction from their partners, while 22% reported negative reactions, including frustration, anger, and irritation. An earlier study indicated that most women considered themselves responsible for the problem. It’s common for women to attribute a weak erection to their perceived lack of attractiveness or sexual appeal. Consequently, they may attempt to enhance their attractiveness and eroticism, believing it will resolve the issue.
However, in most cases, the problem has other underlying causes, such as organic factors or the man’s anxiety about sexual performance. Therefore, the woman’s behavior not only fails to address the problem but may exacerbate it by increasing pressure on the man, leading him to avoid sexual intercourse. This avoidance, in turn, intensifies the woman’s feelings of frustration and anger.
This dynamic often results in difficulties in the woman’s sexual response alongside the man’s erectile dysfunction. A recent study documented a significant decrease in women’s sexual desire, frequency of orgasm, and overall sexual pleasure following the onset of erectile dysfunction.
In some cases, erectile dysfunction can lead to a complete absence of sexual expression between partners. Remarkably, a study of couples with erectile dysfunction in America found that the average duration of sexual abstinence, including kissing or caressing, was approximately two years!
These challenges can be addressed through open communication between partners and seeking assistance from experts. During discussions, it’s crucial to foster understanding and support rather than assigning blame. Additionally, until erectile problems are resolved, maintaining sexual expression and closeness through non-penetrative activities like oral sex and caressing can help sustain the couple’s sexual relationship.
References: Intili H (1998) Impotence and perceived partner support. Urol Nurs 18:279-280, 287. Fisher WA, Eardley I, McCabe M et al. (2009) Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a shared sexual concern of couples II: association of female partner characteristics with male partner ED treatment seeking and phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor utilization. J Sex Med 6:3111-3124. Riley A (2002) The role of the partner in erectile dysfunction and its treatment. Int J Impot Res 14 Suppl 1:S105-109.
