And what effect do fantasies have on our sex lives?
The data from the studies so far provide the answers. A review by Leitenberg & Henning (1995) of studies investigating the sexual fantasies of men and women concluded that the content of the fantasies of the two sexes is quite different. Men fantasize more about doing something to a woman, while women fantasize about doing something with them.
Men’s fantasies are more visual or carnal, while women’s involve feelings. Men more often than women fantasize about sexual acts involving more than two people. Women are more likely to imagine themselves in a submissive role, while men are more likely to imagine themselves in a dominant role. According to Leitenberg & Henning, this is because submitting to the woman’s fantasy suggests that the man desires her greatly. Accordingly, dominance in the man’s fantasy suggests that the woman is so attracted to him that she cannot resist him.
Another study showed that men focus more on the feeling of giving pleasure to the woman, while women focus more on the feeling of personal satisfaction. Furthermore, while 98% of men and 80% of women fantasize about people other than their partner, 50% believe that infidelity is unacceptable even when it only occurs in fantasy (Hicks & Leitenberg, 2001).
The Effect of fantasies on one’s Sex Life
The older view, supported by Freud as well as other researchers, that people fantasize when they are not sexually satisfied, seems not to be verified in modern studies. Modern studies show that people who fantasize frequently are more sexually active and satisfied. Many studies have shown that fantasies can serve many purposes, including increasing arousal and attraction between the sexes, and leading to orgasm.
However, fantasies involving socially or morally impermissible sexual behaviors may create guilt, resulting in sexual problems.
References:
Leitenberg H, Henning K (1995) Sexual fantasy. Psychol Bull 117:469-496.
Zurbriggen EL, Yost MR (2004) Power, desire, and pleasure in sexual fantasies. J Sex Res 41:288-300.
